Picasso was a Mathematician: Not a feelings chaser
Above is an etching he did of himself with model laying out a cubist work. It wasn't feelings, it wasn't emotion. It all had a purpose. He used algorithms in his head to simplify a subject. To simplify space. His goal was to remove self, to remove his experiences and his thoughts. To pursue naivety. To paint like a child. Remember this was during the most treacherous years of Europe, carrying through dictators and wars year after year.
One of the most talented illustrators of his time, he was bored by the pursuit of technical ability, having had already achieved mastery in his teens.
He had his blue period and his rose period and soon after realized he was letting his emotions get to deep. Emotions are like a drug, you can get addicted to the heightened hormones levels of particular brain states caused by each individual situation.
You see he had a moment sometime in his African Period from 1907-1909 where he had to make a change.
His first attempt publicly to fully detach from reality. To say," what if I didn't exist, and some "being" just appeared here in space and witnessed this situation, how would it be received?" Even flirting with the tribal intellect of African wood work.
The point I am trying to make is that Picasso was a very public person and very opinionated about art. Doing a bunch of drugs and closing his eyes was not his way of making a painting. He was an existential philosopher, he pursued problems, and "whys" and wouldn't stop until he felt he answered it.
Many artists are out there pursuing this lost "Contemporary" feeling which really has nothing to do with how well you paint, and how it really has to do with how well you can talk, look, smell, act online, friends you have, school you graduated from, exploitable insecurities. You see the art world only wants you if you speak their religion, and regurgitate their prayers. Why join that. Stay pure, if you are going to pursue self, do it, and do it publicly where you can teach others about your journey. Analyze others who have done the same. Do not just blow your cigarette smoke in my face informing me of what abstract expressionism is.
What is the point in what you do? Maybe one day you almost die, but don't, and realize," Shit, I have a lot to offer this world, and I am just wasting it on entertainment and selfish obsessions with my own feelings."
Hopefully you can realize it, just from reading this. Have a cause. Investigate. And keep searching for